Changes

Maybe I've grown old fashioned like those Southern Women in the 1800's. It's just that I have reached that point in my life when I wish some silly things don't exist anymore. I no longer think it's cool to wear the smallest outfit you can squeeze into... or spend all night partying like crazy (I never liked noise)... or go to hot spots and flirt like mad with anyone who'd care... or try to get as many phone numbers as possible or try to outdo one another on the material goods you have... I think and hope I'm past all that.

I don't know. Most of friends are changing shells too. I think most of us have somewhat mellowed. I don't mean to say we're better because of it...No... but I'm certainly more comfortable like that. Call me boring if you like, but if there's one thing I'd like more than anything is better understanding of my religion and the reason I am (still) here on God's good Earth. I haven't suddenly become pious... No. Far from it. I am just filled with a new sense of curiosity for this faith I have been born into. I need help with it. I know that much.

I've been reading...maybe not enough and maybe I'm selective of what I read, but I've been trying to find myself... My place... My responsibilities... My duties. I don't know why I suddenly feel this need. I haven't changed much on the outside... I still haven't really, really and I mean really covered myself as how my religion requires me to do, though that desire have suddenly surfaced too. Maybe, just maybe I'm growing up.

Yes, maybe.